Discover more from THE VILLAGE!
coping with heartbreak 💔
learning to feel grief
If there is one thing I’m a ninja at, it’s feeling grief
I remember early on as a child listening to my grandfather speak at family functions
Whether it was thanksgiving or christmas he would always bless the food with reminding the family we only have one life
I remember people would always sigh because who wants to talk about death?
In the mind of the little boy, the men around him are Gods
Baked deep into the boy’s psyche is a desire to be seen by the men of the village so I listened to these words of my grandfather as if God was speaking to me
Sometimes I ask how am I so sensitive? WHY AM I SO SENSITIVE!?
I continue to awaken how his words have impacted me
I realize I’m so sensitive because I have this deep awareness that we only have one shot at this thing
Death is the biggest fear of humanity
Being forgotten and the unknown after death
While I believe in reincarnation, death is still something I fear deeply
When we can feel our fear around death in our body, it’s easier to grief
The reason why most people fear feeling grief is because it is a massive spiritual death
With each heartbreak, whether that’s the loss of a family member or partner you begin to awaken to how precious this life really is
Loss could be an actual death or a separation in the relationship.
I actually believe the heart doesn’t know the difference.
Losing my cousin has just been as painful as finally letting go a lot of previous relationships I’ve had with women
Grief is like this blackhole where you don’t know where the pain will end
You think that you might get swallowed up in it and won’t be able to get out
That’s why in ancient African times people grieved together as a village
The presence of other physical bodies allows your body to feel safe to finally release the pent up pain. You feel held and supported, the eyes get watery, and finally you allow yourself to feel all the pain you’ve been holding onto.
It’s so important to grieve and I believe one of the reasons why we are in a wellness crisis is because we are not grieving enough.
It’s not just the mental health its also the physical health of human’s today that is at a breaking point.
So you’re probably wondering “well okay then, how do I intentionally grieve?”
You make space for rest
This is first and foremost
I don’t believe we understand how much energy grieving takes out of the body
If you are in a big heartbreak right now, please take some days off for your mental health. It’s really the biggest gift you could give yourself
Once the body feels that it has the strength to release, it will do it naturally and randomly
I could be walking down the street and a leaf falls to the ground in front of me
The leaves falling for some reason remind me of my cousin I lost last year to alcohol abuse and mental health challenges.
Some days I feel his confidence that I admired and some days out of no where I actually sit with the fact that I will never be able to have a physical conversation with him again, I just begin weeping and screaming out to God, WHY!?
The body is truly incredible and has a knowledge and wisdom of it’s own
The question is - will you trust it?
We value the mind so much in today’s world and I will always invite you into the body because every moment of every day I am spending learning more and more about my body
Liberate Village is my full-time gig which is why I’m always asking for money lol. I’ve learned I have to teach ya’ll to value the energy that it takes to hold space for grief and the only way you can really do that is if you get really intimate with it.
Being a healer in today’s world isn’t easy yet it’s necessary
Necessary if we want to see the changes in the world today that will transform the experience of the Black and African children today
A world where they don’t have to deal with our lack of accountability and responsibility as growing elders.
Whether your 22 or 66, it’s time for you to step into the healthy elder
We must come together as a village to grieve!
If you got some value out of here please considering contributing to our Baltimore fund to restore the village on-the-ground! We’re bringing back the healthy masculine!
As my body prepares for Baltimore next week (I bought tickets this morning!), I am considering running another campfire this weekend except it will be paid. If you’re going through a big heartbreak and need space you can either:
Donate to the Baltimore fund and reach out personally for a 20-30 min phone call (2035542335 // firstname.lastname@example.org)
Reach out and let me know a good time for a campfire over the next 3 days
Here is a 15 min recap of one of the campfires! (Half of the folks stayed afterwards to record how the experience was for them)
I’m working on a new song, more softer than usual. I’m feeling it will be more around heartbreak and recognizing we only have one life. This is an early version // work in progress!